


Never

by homesickghosts



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-04 04:01:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6640558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homesickghosts/pseuds/homesickghosts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Never was. Never will be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you and good luck bro. Also this wasn't beta'd at all. Or read again. So, if there's any mistakes please let me know.

He kind of feels like vomiting as Spencer opens the door in his tux. He’s not really surprised that Spencer’s already dressed and ready to go because Brendon was supposed to be here half an hour ago but he spent twenty minutes sitting in his car psyching himself up enough to actually talk to Spencer again.

Spencer still looks exactly the same; his wide, baby blues and forever young face. His beard has grown out though, it’s way longer than Brendon’s ever seen it. But then again, they live in the same town but haven’t seen or spoken to each other in three months after the announcement.

And Spencer is so so happy he doesn’t stop smiling. He’s pumped up and ready to do this thing; he’s bouncing on the balls of his feet. Brendon can’t help but to smile at this because Spencer hates waiting and has always been impatient. 

They used to fuck around when they had to wait for the next plane or the next show. They don’t anymore. They haven’t talked in three months.

Spencer’s rambling on a mile a minute and Brendon just stands awkwardly in the doorway because holy fuck.

The last time he saw Spencer in a tux. The last time.

Brendon wants to leave but he can’t because he made a promise and Spencer looks so happy right now that there’s no way Brendon’s going to chicken out.

“Are you ready?” Brendon asks eventually. Spencer nods eagerly, still bouncing slightly. Brendon tilts his head and they’re out the door and into Brendon’s car.

Spencer fumbles with the radio while Brendon backs out of the driveway. Eventually, Spencer lets out a loud ‘ooh!’ and leaves it on a station. And fuck, Spencer looks so good right now and Brendon misses.

Of course the radio just had to be playing Their Song; accept Brendon never told Spencer about the song. But he can’t help the way the lyrics make his chest feel like it’s expanding and like he can’t get enough air at the same time. God, Brendon misses this.

He has to tell himself to keep both hands on the wheel and to look straight ahead because this isn’t about him; this is about Spencer. He is - was - Spencer’s best friend. He has to be there fore him no matter what.

And fuck is it hard.

Spencer sings along quietly and it’s just like the last time. The very last time. But at that time, they didn’t know it’d be the last. They were so happy. Brendon was so happy.

He needs a fucking cigarette. He motions to his pack and Spencer pulls one out, lighting it up for Brendon. It’s crisp out; the beginning of summer and Brendon wants to stick his head out the window but he can’t. He coughs and keeps coughing and his eyes are watering. He’s not sure if it’s from coughing or from everything that’s going on.

Spencer’s always looked good in a suit. Spencer’s always looked good in anything.

Brendon runs a red light and Spencer scolds him because Brendon definitely had time to stop.

But Brendon says, “hey, we’re already late anyways,” and they leave it at that. Spencer is tapping along to the latest love song that’s playing. The world is definitely out to get Brendon this rate. Because, God, does Spencer look so happy right now.

Brendon could stare at him forever. Except for that he can’t because Spencer’s not his anymore. Never really was.

They pull up to the restaurant that Spencer rented out specifically for this event. Fuck Brendon wishes it was him. It almost was but almost isn’t good enough here.

Brendon follows slowly behind Spencer. He’s here for moral support; that’s it. There’s no stopping this show now.

The girl is already there. Big brown eyes, short brown hair, tiny teeth. She’s beautiful and perfect in all the ways that Brendon couldn’t be. Never would be.

It happens and all their friends applaud because finally. Spencer’s been planning this with everyone for months now. She didn’t know about it, but everyone else did. She says yes of course.

Brendon leaves shortly after. He goes home because there’s nothing left for him there. There never really was in the first place.

**Author's Note:**

> All I can write is sad things. I'm so sorry.


End file.
